Young David, in his frustration at the unjustified hatred of Saul toward him, asked Saul’s son Jonathan: “What have I done? What is my iniquity? And what is my sin before your father, that he seeks my life?” All of us are going to experience similar situations in our own lives. Some people are never going to like us, no matter what we do or say.

In fact, some people are going to hate us and do all they can to hurt us. And there is not one thing in this world that we can do to change that. That was the case with Saul and David. Jealousy was eating up Saul from the inside out and he poured all of his anger and aggravation out on innocent David, even though he had done nothing to deserve such terrible treatment.

People have their own inner struggles and reasons for which they do and say some of the mysterious things they do and say. At times we will not be able to fathom those reasons that are locked up tightly in the inner sanctum of someone else’s heart. They may not be willing to tell us, even if we ask them kindly and humbly. Saul was on the way out and God had informed him that he would have no legacy in Israel and that there would be no dynasty after him.

He was therefore bitter and troubled over his own past failures and yet he would not take ultimate responsibility for his wrongs. He blamed the people one moment, and David the next. As a result, his heart was torn and incapable of mercy or compassion. So, no matter what David said or did, he could not reach the man who had once loved him and shown such affection for him.

Saddest of all, however, was how this troubled David who had shown such loyalty, fidelity and fealty for him. It is difficult to summon the words to comfort a person who is in a situation like this. We almost never can figure out what this other person’s reasons are for such behavior. All we can do is what David did. He continued to be kind and respectful to Saul (even though we all know that he really did not deserve such deference or respect), giving the explanation that he was “God’s annointed.”

God had made this ornery and cantankerous fellow the king of Israel and David was not going to be the cause of him being brought down. And even though he had several opportunities, he refused to raise a hand against the king to harm him. In this whole situation he honored God above all else.

This other person who does not like you or treat you right, in spite of all of their inexplicable ill-treatment of you and perhaps others also, is nevertheless made in the image of God. They are therefore worthy of love and respect. Thus, by continuing to show them kindness and persisting with gentleness toward them, it may be that you may be able to “heap coals of fire” upon their head (see Rom. 12:20; Prov. 25:21, 22).

You will not be able to change them. That may be certain. But you can keep yourself from becoming like them, bitter and hateful to others. That is certainly no way to live. In this God is honored and that is what is most important.